You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
where are my eyebrows?
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