i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
