Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
