he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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