he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
