My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
