i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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