I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
