I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I deserve this hangover.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
