I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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