Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
