i don't like sucking hair
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
