After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
