Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
