She announced her abortion via fbk
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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