just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
