I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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