You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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