frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
