great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Randomize
