She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
