I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
