your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If that was your dad, he is hot
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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