I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
