Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
