Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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