you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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