if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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