I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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