Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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