if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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