maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
