I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
