TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
