OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
