His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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