Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
time to smoke my breakfast
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
