I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
