and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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