Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
