Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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