this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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