I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
