That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
