When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
