you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
