Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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