i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
