i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
