It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
