She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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